Judging Yourself on Video

24 Aug Judging Yourself on Video

Why do we judge ourselves and start feeling insecure when we are on video? What is it that makes us see our crooked nose, yellow teeth and nervous body language? Even if we know we will never be that Instagram girl, why are we plagued with thoughts and judgments of not smart enough, not pretty enough…not good enough?

We all have reasons for feeling insecure and judging ourselves on video.

As the mom of a 6th grade girl and a live television host for the last 20 years, I’ve come to feel the stinging pain of that judgment and insecurity more times than I can count. In my younger years I just wanted to look smarter (I even purposely wore glasses while presenting electronics just to look more credible). Now as a woman of a certain age, 50, I just want to look cute once in a while.

What if…you could stop judging yourself on video?

And I have also felt the warm relaxation of sharing my best self, showing up and being present, focusing on others and not on myself. Knowing that I was there to contribute to the community not be a goddess in a selfie.

I empathize with you if you have self-criticism being in front of the camera, whether it’s online learning, or a Zoom call. We’ve all heard “the camera doesn’t lie” and it “adds 10 pounds”–maybe 10 pounds of judgement. For years, I agonized over how I looked on camera. I hosted 2-3 hours of live tv five days a week for 10 years when I started in the shopping business. One cannot do math on the insecurities in those numbers.

What if you could be curious about judging yourself and feeling insecure on video?

And then, one day I got curious. What was this judgement and feeling insecure about? What can I learn from it? What are these feelings of insecurity trying to teach me? I don’t have the time and you don’t have the interest to delineate and enumerate all my judgements and insecurities; suffice it to say we humans are sometimes not so different.

So what is this about? For me, it comes down to the frame I put around it and the questions I ask myself . Do I want to contribute or sit in self absorption? Can I be vulnerable and add value or am I stuck in the conversation in my head?

Reframing

Albeit, these may appear to be simple questions. But the answers may or may not come easily. For me, it was years of contemplation (and a few therapy sessions) that pushed me toward being comfortable in my own skin and feeling less insecure. I hope for you as I share my story here you will find your own story and tell. And tell it to yourself in a way that adds a non-judgmental awareness that we are all in this together. You are not alone. You are smart enough, pretty enough and, yes, good enough. (click only for laughs)

P.S. Here’s a link to some practical tips for looking good on video.