19 Jan Getting Comfortable
Are you comfortable with yourself? I don’t mean the on-a-scale-of 1 to 10 how attractive you think you are or how cool you think other people think you are. I mean can you sit in a room and hang out with yourself for a few hours?
Probably the most uncomfortable moment of my life was when I quit my first amazing job. I don’t mean when I quit my first crappy job–we all have to move on to move up at some point. I mean when I quit a really great job to move on to a new career.
Courage Over Comfort
The paper was shaking in my hand as I knocked on Bob’s door. He signaled me to come in. I felt a lump in my throat as I handed him my typed resignation letter. My voice too quivering to talk, I simply laid it on his desk and stood there with my hands behind my back as he read it. I could feel his mood change, as if a dark cloud just moved in to the room. He ran the tv station through his old-school military lens: you were on his team OR you were the enemy. I just went from his number one soldier to a long two-week death sentence lasting from that moment until I relinquished my title of Production and Promotions Manager.
“If you’re not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”Brene Brown
It was the discomfort of pondering quitting and actually going through with it that eventually led to more discomfort starting a new career. Then there was a learning curve (including a failing curve for a couple years), and then–eventually–a whole new world of possibility. Thank goodness I chose courage over comfort.
Sometimes pushing ourselves to the fringes helps define our comfort zones. I love the idea that the more experiences you have the bigger you become. The more you are willing to be uncomfortable pushing yourself to the next level, the more confidence you build inside of yourself and the more comfortable you become overall.
So many of us focus on looking comfortable. I’m no psychologist, yet after 20 years of hosting shows and studying myself on video in order to perfect my craft I’ve learned a lot about being uncomfortable—and getting comfortable. First, there’s no faking it…at least not for very long.
Fathom this: only 7% of our communication is verbal. According to this Forbes article 93% of communication is non-verbal. So there are a lot of clues in tone of voice, volume, rate of speech, facial expression, hand gestures, posture and more. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. Is it perception? Is it reality?
A phrase comes to mind: the only way out is through. Self discovery leading to self awareness is not easy, but it is so worth it. And it never ends.