10 Jun Thinking of Dad
This year Father’s Day brings more meaning and introspection that many of the years past.
As a princess of nostalgia, Father’s Day is always special to me. This year though, after not seeing my dad for several months I looked at him with different eyes this week. I suddenly embraced compassionate empathy for him as a parent, as a provider, as a worrier and as a warrior.
One of the many lessons our family is learning in 2020 is to slow down and appreciate one another. We are a fun-loving, wacky and spontaneous bunch. We share a unique loyalty despite driving each other crazy at times. Sitting poolside at my sister’s house in Dallas last night, we swapped childhood stories–oddly seeing for the first time how the exact same event held a different experience and memory for each of us. It may have been the first adult conversation we’ve ever had piecing together a chronological timeline of moves across the country, pets, schools and events year by year, memory by memory.
I had a brief moment of contemplation when my daughter wanted me to leave the family conversation to watch her jump on the trampoline with her cousin. Normally this would be a non-negotiation, not a big ask. But I felt compelled to stay in our family circle, revering our conversation with a in-the-moment awareness that this was a unique gift of time together.
For the first time it seems I have been able to walk a few steps in my dad’s shoes, seeing his life through a glimpse of what he may see. Not as a child looking up to her dad, but as a parent empathizing with the ups and downs of making life decisions, career changes, and perhaps appreciating with new depth and clarity how much he gave and provided for us over those childhood years.
With a flourishing daughter of my own I have a new appreciation of giving whole-heartedly and never looking back.